batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
