Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
