I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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