WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
