I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
