the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
high people should be assigned attendants
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize