Your face is a jimmy john
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
