That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
