Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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