Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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