I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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