Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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