if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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