Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
