Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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