remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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