if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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