I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
