She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
