i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
