we're blogging at a bar
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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