Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
There r osticjed everywhere
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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