WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
