Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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