wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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