you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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