talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
did you just send me my own nude
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
