I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
