I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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