come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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