Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
