I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Come see our sink grown plant.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
