is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize