She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
