he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
