Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
