After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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