do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
