I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Do vagina's smell?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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