please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize