I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
