I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
