Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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