i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
