That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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