This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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