what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
