I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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