Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
