I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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