I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
