At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You're like the curious george of whores
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Life without a bra equals bliss.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
