if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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