i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
