Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
