So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
