I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
