Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
