I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
