Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize