U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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