so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
