dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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