But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
