Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
