Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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