Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
it's like iHOP with fire
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
